(647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
About
I'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me.Following
(647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
(240): I mean I’m basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Mitch Hewer
via sky-blue-sky
my friends are greeeeat.
I’m legit cracking up right now. ps-computer keyboarding BLOWS.
Yes, you read that right: The Twilight Dildo. This thing is such a perfect storm of bootleg sex toy, and complete insanity that it’s been covered just about everywhere, but as shocking as it might be to believe, the most striking thing about it is not the inlaid glitter that means, like the vampires of Twliight, it actually sparkles in sunlight.
No, the real craziness comes from the product description, which touts both its “deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the moon’s soft glow” and the fact that it “retains hot and cold temperature,” so you can “toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience,” thus selling it on the strength of how accurate it is to a corpse’s wang. That’s right, folks: This may in fact be the first sex toy to be marketed directly to the amateur necrophiliac.
(818): WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
(440): if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
(619): with a huge shlong
(440): massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the only thing accurate is how tiny it is
(via kapi0)
